So silent around this blog.
Which is so antithetical to what it's been like in my life this week.
Noise, information, emotions, business, talking, and lots of prayer.

Last night the entire Prescott/Costello clan met at the Lexington in St. Paul for a nice dinner and tribute to Grandma. It was a wonderful evening of delicious food, putting faces to the names Grandma would talk about so much, connecting with lost cousins, and of course all the laughter (mostly at Sheila).

Tomorrow we bury Grandma's ashes.

Dan knows how much I think of death. And how I actually look forward to it, morbid as that sounds.

I do look forward to it. But, not because I have more faith than someone who might be fearful. Quite the opposite. You see, death will finally prove to me that God does exist. That God is my final end.

It is strange to have a heart split in two. One side is completely assured in the existence of God, a Being who sent Himself to us to save us from ourselves. The other side of my heart is under the influence of evil and constantly needs guidance.

To me, I believe death will be a relief because I will no longer have to struggle, and assure myself. I will no longer have to contend with my doubts.

I see it's time to find another fart joke for tomorrow.